I was just thinking what was the worse memory of my life and it only took my a fraction of a second to know the deepest pain. To know me is to know how I came to be. Good and bad.
Gina was this italian girl that wasn’t just good looking, she had this look that the second you saw her you knew she was out of your league. She was incredible. The second I saw her I fell in lust for her. From her eyes, to her shape (which was incredible) to her voice… everything about her was what I hoped for in a woman, and everything I knew I would never get.
All my life I wanted someone who loved me more than anyone else and if they actually found me attractive, and wanted no-one else it would be special. To be incredible would mean that I would also be head over heals the same way. Gina didn’t love my appearance, but she loved my power. I was head of an international moving firm and she was an inexperienced out of work girl with a small child and a husband who was not only ugly but mean spirited as well.
The first thing I did wrong was hire her. This was a mistake on several fronts because she was horribly under-qualified and she knew it. She said in the interview that she knew she was not ready for a regular job but she really needed a chance and no-one is giving her one. Then she said the magic words. She said if I hired her she would follow my instruction to the letter and make me very happy I hired her.
Now for you smart people, you can see the train wreck coming can’t you? We’ll I didn’t. All I saw was the love of my life in a bad situation and at that moment I was prepared to quit my job if needed to help her out. Anyway, I hired her. In about a week the other people in the office started wondering why I hired her. I knew it was a mistake and made sure I would not be the person supervising her or in contact with her. I knew I made a mistake but I figured that maybe all I really did was help out someone who needed a break.
That didn’t last long. She started coming to my office uninvited and telling me how much she loves the job and thanking me for giving her a chance. This usually followed with her supervisor coming into my office and telling me she has to go as she is going to be a problem. Never explaining why, I always backed her up. In time, she proved that she could do the job well but at the cost of pissing all her co-workers and alienating me from everyone by the defenses.
As a thank you, she invited me over to her house for dinner with her husband and her new baby. I gladly agreed because I felt I deserved it and wanted to see my competition. Now you can see why I say I broke one of the commandments because sure enough, I did. Anyway, this guy was very lower class and I compared him to me in many ways. I may not have been the best looking but he was much worse. I had tons of cash and was coming into a major amount of money while he was jobless and she supported him and their child.
Their little girl was beautiful in everyway. Even a pretty name, Aubrey. Eventually I gained the confidence of both parents and they asked me to babysit. That’s when I changed my first diaper and boy do they smell! Anyway, I was a good “uncle” and since i knew the family was strapped, I would always bring over bags of food and toys. Eventually, I even bought them new furniture. I made sure that the husband was taken care of but he was always on coke or pills and slept most of the day.
In a matter of a few trips, I was part of the family and my lust was dying and my love was increasing. I went from an animal to someone who loved this little family and really wanted then to stay together. It became my mission to see what I can do to clean him up and help get them out of the shithole they were in. I tried to send him to school to learn a new trade and always slipped him a few folded hundreds every week in a handshake so he could go out and buy groceries on his own. I started to realize that his self esteem was pretty bad and he knew he was lucky to have her in his life.
One day I came by and Gina and him just put Aubrey to sleep. They were both doing drinks and pills and offered me some and of course I said yes because I was already doing it without them knowing. Now it was no big deal, the pressure of them finding out I did drugs was over, and she had a major issue with pot and he loved pills, like me. Of course I didn’t think about the fact that now an employee knew I was an addict. Didn’t give that a thought, at first.
I knew I had to stop for I went cold turkey for the sake of the baby. I knew they wouldn’t. Being clean had a very amazing effect on me. It only lasted for a few months but during that time, suddenly I had this “holier then thou” attitude. I now took a new role…head of the household.
While this was happening, Gina started getting more and more on people’s nerves at work. She also started flirting with other co-workers. They had no problem flirting back. I started getting jealous because now my little brain is thinking’ “how dare them, they didn’t do shit for her or her family” and getting red hot inside when she would flirt with them. Worse yet, she started wearing the new wardrobe I bought for her which made her look even hotter then when I first met her.
…damn the time, got a meeting in an hour….more tomorrow……. Part Two will be tomorrow.
