I don’t know why but it seems that everyday is just so hard. Today is no exception.
I started the day feeling okay but right now I’m rushing to get a web site project done and still make my meeting tonight. There is so many revisions to this one site that I will probably have to work on it later after the meeting which means no rest for me today.
Oh, I called that one guy and he said that he didn’t mean to not call me but he was busy. It’s so easy for me to believe that when in fact I think he really didn’t want to call me. That’s the problem with the popular guys, they should stick with other guys like them because losers like me have too many issues. Why should they deal with us.
I know I am just getting through each day as it comes but in a way I just wish it was all over. I am tired of being the living dead. Trouble is I don’t know how to come to life or if it will be worth the work to do so.
There is so many things I have to deal with and I’m just tired of dealing with it. Not sure if I will use but I’m thinking of it and almost did today. My dirty little secret for today is that I actually carry a few pills with me to each meeting just in case give up I can have no delay in using again. Sick isn’t it.
