Yes, I know this blog is about addiction and you really didn’t come here to read a freakin movie review but I just saw Wall-e and I want to comment on it. So if you want the normal depressing shocking crap about my life, there is lots of other posts but if you want to read about my opinion of Wall-e then read on. Oh, I’m gonna ruin the movie for you so if you don’t want to know the end or anything about it… too bad.
First…. HEY DISNEY WRITERS! Your typical movies are getting a bit predictable. In case you have been under a rock for your entire childhood, Disney movies go something like this…. Ugly guy meets cute girl. He’s a mess and she’s always sweet. He has low self esteem and always tries to get affection. In the end he does and they troll and beauty live happily ever after. I hate that kind of stuff.
So Wall-e is like this garbage compactor in the year 3100 or something like that. All the humans left the earth because they ruined the earth by not being “green”. Before you start puking, it gets worse. Wall-e has somehow gotten a hold of an old movie which he falls in love with the thought process of the characters… happy little humans holding hands. All he has on the earth as a friend is a cockroach. The humans are in space. They sent a probe to see if plants have started growing on earth and sure enough Wall-e found it and the probe found Wall-e in the process.
The probe is a girl robot, all shiney and clean. Her mission is to get the plant to the humans in space and then they will know it’s okay to return to earth. In the process, the two robots fall in love.
Oh, now let’s get to the fun part. The probe named “Eve” does get the plant to the humans. The humans are all extremely overweight and have not stood up in years. For that matter, they are all so disjointed that they don’t even talk to each other except through their communicators.
SO LISTEN UP DISNEY ASSHOLES! First, I don’t need your “green” crap thoughts thrust down my throat. Second, your robots are ugly and not appealing. Third, your fat humans are insulting to all overweight people on earth NOW dipshits, and finally… Fourth, Zippo lighters would not have the fluid in them 3000 years later to light (they show one lighting up several times in the movie).
Does this movie sound like crap? Yes? Congratulations! You just saved yourself the price of a movie ticket and more… your sanity. Wall-e is too heavy for kids and too stupid for adults.
My suggestion if you really want to see a good movie? Go see Hancock. Yes, the name does have the word cock in it which makes guys laugh, and it is a guy movie, but at least it’s good special effects and fun to watch and has a good story line except in the very very end, (for those of you who saw it, what the hell is wth the moon thing… they lose it at the very end didn’t they?)
P.S. Hey Disney… you expect to sell ANY Wall-e products? Who the hell wants a garbage disposal unit as a toy? I say, you’re all fired if I had my wish. Sometimes it’s okay to go to the movies by yourself. That way at least the people you know aren’t punching each other in the head to get those images out of their brains.
