Reconstructing Rick

As Gina and I spent more time together, I stopped lusting and started falling in love. My weight dropped and I was actually thin again. People at the office had a pretty good idea what was going on because Gina now didn’t have a care in the world as to how she acted and everyone stopped asking me to can her. The company started suffer because of this because now I was not focused on my job, but rather how not to lose her.

Weeks turned to months and Gina’s marriage eventually headed for divorce, but not on the grounds of us, but rather on the grounds of her husbands cheating. She didn’t have the money for the divorce so of course I paid. Thousands.

During the process, I encourged her to get back with her husband and because it appeared he was now sought after by other woman, she started wanting him. My role started to change and Gina and I started drifting apart. Soon, she was pregnant with his child. I knew it was his because we stopped for months.

My health started getting worse. My chest hurt all the time. I was weak. One day, I collasped in the office parking lot. After getting an exam, my heart was hurt. The doctors asked what I was on and I told them the diet drugs phen/fen. He suggested I get a lawyer. The lawyer immediately took my case and Gina got bigger and bigger during this time. Finally the big day came and Gina had a new baby girl. She looked just like her father and was again beautiful.

It didn’t take long for their marriage to fall again apart but now it was turning into violence all the time. He was the abused, not her. She was losing it. So to the protect the kids, I assumed the father role one more, and took daily care of the kids.

In a matter of weeks from coming back to work, Gina had a tantum at work and now there was nothing I could do. Her supervisor fired her and she wanted me to fire him but I refused. She knew it was over and I was ready for the attack. I didn’t care if I lost my job. I was tired of the feeling of being used, even if I was using myself.

The home life for her got worse. Gina eventually got kicked out and the children was moved to her mother. She asked me if she could move in and I said yes. I had a roommate already but I had a 3 bedroom house and there was an empty room. She moved in but was very distant to me.

Xmas was approaching and she wanted to give her kids a big Xmas to forget the problems between her husband and herself.  I told her I had a couple grand in savings and she took that as in invite to spend every penny of it.

My roommate who was living with me was also by best friend. I knew him since we were little boys. I met him when I was 8 years old and he hated Gina. He thought she was a loser and hated the fact that she and I were friends. She kept on telling me that she wanted Gina out. We had daily fights about it. Like usual, I defended her to the end. Weeks went by and Gina got more distant with me.

One day, while at work, I just wasn’t feeling right. I decided to come home. Gina already found a job at a car wash as a cashier and my roommate worked long hours so I thought it would be a good chance for me to rest. When I pulled up to the house, I noticed her car was parked outside. Then I noticed my roommates car was parked on the side of the house. The draped were drawn. This made no sense, but I knew something was up so I entered the house quietly.

I quietly walked in and turned immediately to my roommates room and swung open the door. They must have heard me because she was on the bed and he was in a chair. He was leaning forward over a little in the chair. I asked what was going on and they both said nothing. I pushed his chest back hard and there it was, his dick was out, hard and he was trying to cover it up. I said, “what the fuck!” and he got up and left the room pissed. I went into shock. I left the room and went to mine. I sat there with tears running down my eyes.

My head was all over the place. How could she do this to me? How could my best friend betray me like this? Was his telling me she was a loser all a lie to keep me off the trail? How long has this been going on? All I knew was it hurt so bad I left the house. I had to get out of there.

I thought the start of my nightmare was before, but now I knew a level of pain I never knew. My chest felt hollow. My agony made me scream inside so much my mouth would open to cry, yet no sound would come out. In a moment, I lost my dream, my best friend, everything I put to this relationship and worse yet, it wasn’t over, I still had to go back and deal with this.

What I found out when I left the house, they had so little guilt that they went back to his room and she finished doing him. They were secretly doing this for weeks and worse yet, when asked, they had no intention of stopping. Now I know how her husband must be feeling. I deserved this but what happened next I didn’t deserve. 

I kicked her out. She went back with her husband. I left my job in shame. Eventually she came back to me when I got my money from my lawsuit… a tidy little $250,000. She proceeded on playing me like everyone else in her life. I lost that money to her. I eventually tried to kill myself over the pain. I continued to do drugs because that was the ONLY thing that made me feel okay when the pain got too much. My friendship with my best friend faded to, “how’s the weather” and then nothing.

While in the hospital from a massive overdose of me trying to end the pain, she cleaned out my house of everything… and I mean everything. I left the hospital empty, lost and alone.  I lost it all. Sick, with now a heart defect. No money. No friends. No job. No belongings. Gone.

There is very little to learn from this story. It’s a real true event in my life. The only thing that I can take with it is that if you lack self-respect and if you are lonely and doing drugs, know you are about to not just lose your life, you are about to gain massive amounts of pain. Do anything to make you feel better about you before you pay for it with your life. I have never, to this day, been whole again.