Reconstructing Rick

I know some of you who read this (and I know I have a small audience), is not addicts.  But there is much to learn from an addict because we have seen a level of hell few can imagine. Maybe these 5 things may ring a bell in your life and help you, my “normal” friends:

1) Not everything in life is bad. Sometimes we all lose our jobs, our wifes and husbands. Sometimes even we lose our kids. We lose our money. We lose our friends. People betray us. People take advantage of us. Bad stuff happens. How you handle it is what is going to make the difference. Addicts typically escape in drinking or drugs. Others in sex, shopping, gambling and more. We “use” to live and live to “use”. RECOVERING addicts know this and when bad stuff happens in our life we go to our life preservers, like meetings, sponsors, fellow addicts and our basic texts.

To get through life you need a support system. Never try to attempt to get through life alone. Anyone can be that other person, not someone you have to love. Take classes, go to church, get to know your neighbors, ask a friend to introduce you to their friends. And it’s better that YOU choose who they are otherwise it will be a support system like a jail or a hospital.

2) You can’t control everything or everyone. Addicts are self centered by nature. We always put our needs first no matter what or who it effects. A RECOVERING addict has surrendered their will to a Higher Power but this does not mean to give up and go with the blowing wind. We still try to do what we can but we learn to be open minded and willing. Close your mind and you will close your heart, your future, and you will end up frustrated in the end when you lose the war. If you have two people and each wants to control the other person, isn’t that called a boxing match? One person will lose.

3) The more you hide your secret shame, the greater the chance it will hurt you. Are you stealing, cheating, abusing or more? Maybe no-one will ever find out what you did. The problem is, you do. It becomes part of you. You try a few things to make sure no-one knows. This does not mean go ahead and tell your boss your stealing or your spouse you fooled around. This does not mean that you must live with the fact that you were abused. What we have learned is you must let it out in order to be free of it. You have to find someone to tell it to. It could even be a total stranger. Just letting the words come out of your mouth is the beginning to freedom.

4) The more you put into something the greater your chance to get what you want. As addicts we had no problem going to the worse neighborhoods, and buying from people who could kill us for the watch we wore or the car we drove. The best way to understand this lesson is from an example… Let’s say you entered my office for the first time at midnight. In a room marked “conference room” the light is totally out and there is no light from the street. It is as dark as dark gets. Black. You cant even figure what is in the room or who is hiding in it. Now lets’s say I tell you, when I open the door, to take 10 steps back and run as fast as you can into the room!

If you trusted me you would be afraid but you might do it but within 1 foot in the room you would stop running and be feeling you way around. Hitting things, falling over and scared because I closed the door behind you so you cant retreat! Wish you had a flashlight right now don’t you?

In life we are given empty flashlights to illuminate the darkness of our lives. We have to put energy into those flashlights… like batteries. Then we can use them if we need them. Maybe we won’t but having that flashlight means the difference between being afraid in life and being strong and happy. Because we can’t carry a 1000 flashlights with us, we must have the light inside of us and in others we can call at a moments notice. We need to know where we put that basic text and we have to know where we are in the book so we know where to look for the answer fast.

Bottom line… the more energy you put into things like friends, work, reading, family, group classes or meetings, your knowledge base…ect… the more flashlights you have to get you thru the darkness of life.

5) Nothing stays the same and things do get worse… and better too! Even a corpse rots. The more you try to keep things from not changing, the more you will change yourself for the worse. The batteries you put in that flashlight will lose their energy! You have to keep recharging them when they start losing their effectiveness.

Recovering addicts with enough clean time do service to help others who are new to recovery. There is a statement,  “you only keep what you have by giving it away”. Many addicts have different meanings to this line. I believe that if I want the room of my life to be bright all the time, so I dont fail, I put energy into as many areas as I can… including sharing (like this blog), newcomers, service… and by doing so I have stored energy in those things so that they will help me stay clean. Multiple flashlights that I keep recharging. I give it away to keep the light going. Do the same in your life.

You want love in your life? Be loving. You want friends? Be friendly and giving. You want to be without fear? Give your strenght to others. Want to feel alive? Live and live just for today. Tomorrow you can energize more!