Working the program like a madman! Clean time 3 years, 5 months and 1 day
I ’m Rick and I’m an addict
Hold cow! Things are crazy right now for me. Most of the stuff I can share here but I have to tell you it has been rapid fire problems. Not small ones either. I’ll give you an example… but not all of it.
So I got sued not to long ago for $50,000 from an ad I signed for at a company I used to work for. I signed on behalf of the company and at the time it seemed like a good idea. We’ll I left and they didn’t pay and so guess what… they came after me. I refused to pay it! They then sued me. I went to court to see if they can force me to pay for it and sure enough, they can. That alone cost $4500 and we are not even at the end of that story! So the lawyer (mine) wanted $2500 to try and settle it and if we couldn’t, then he would charge another $2500 to go to court to defend it. OMG.
Anyway (and I hope you are following me on this), we went back and forth at finally agreed that I would pay $20000. $2000 up front and $500 a month till it is paid. I figured I was being raped but I wanted this over and if they got the full $50K it would kill me.
So the DAY this is all over… the DAY… I get a call from my old tax lawyer. It turns out that IRS is auditing me for the last 6 years. Yes, my drugs years is part of that and of course, that is going to be a horror story all by itself. So I had to hire a lawyer, a CPA firm and the tax lawyer to deal with this and in the end, that alone will cost thousands of dollars.
In the meantime, I took on 2 new sponsees recently and I can tell you, independent of me, all of them are having a hard time. ALSO my sister is fighting with my other sister over control and appreciation and they want me to take a side and pounce on the other one. It’s ugly. In the meantime, my foot issue went from good to very bad and I am in very bad pain all the time. This happen to start when all the pressure of this other stuff happening so I think there is a connection.
Then, to put the freaking cherry on top, I am dealing with the “mother of all issues” in my company. I cannot disclose it but suffice to say the problem all by itself is enough to make me want to use but not just use.. kill people in the process. I am not going to lose my company but I think the problem is so bad that I may not be able to fix this and people will lose their jobs over this. At the same time, people are climbing in from everywhere right now asking me for a job.
I feel sick. I am weak. The meds are making me feel funny. Not high, but weird. I feel a little out of control. I need to sleep. I feel like I am in another planet.Everything is looking a little bleak right now. Worries are coming up but not fear as much. I am a little confused right now, like I have been spun around real fast a lot and then let go.Normally I do not think I would have gotten through any of this right now and still stayed alert and mostly positive.
But here is the real weird part. I am still okay. I have never ever had so many bad things come down on me at one time but I am okay. What is happening to me. I am accepting what is happening. I am living in the moment. When things seem more than what I can handle I am asking for help. I am turning to experts. I am doing what they are saying. I am forgiving people when I should be shooting them dead. Something weird is going on with me. I wonder if this is what they call recovery. True recovery. The type where you live it privately and don’t preach about it. I am on another planet and I don’t know the name of this one.
